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Klonoa Grace - Sometimes

from palette by avant en garde!

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about

"'Sometimes' was written & produced in early 2021 during a grim point of my life. I had just concluded a three-month road trip along the Pacific Northwest after abandoning my home state of California. Despite this decision being made in late 2020, I'm glad I had the opportunity to travel without much responsibility—though the experience made me realize distance from certain people wasn't the only thing I needed in my life.

After accepting a job offer in Seattle in the winter of 2020, everything started to shine slightly brighter, and although I'm in a fairly comfortable place right now, the constant lack of adequate connection with others is draining. My trans-ness is a factor, no doubt, and possibly more than I know.

I'm not sure if I ever gained a reputation for being a whore (sexual, emotional or otherwise) but I definitely feel it. Not that I'm slut-shaming myself, life is what it is sometimes and I've come to accept my past scenarios—but regardless of reality's truth, I'm certain about one thing: love is hard to find.

Anyways, most of my music revolves around the drama behind romance—and if not that, my addiction to loving & love itself. Taken from real experiences but through the lens of Klonoa Grace, I reflect on my failed relationships and tragic regrets via sincere gothic cynicism. In short: it's a vibe.

'Sometimes' is about a friend and my own fear of being abandoned. It's one of countless demos/b-sides I have on my hard drive. It's bleak and that's okay."

- Lenan || Klonoa Grace

lyrics

Sometimes I'm just too much
Sometimes people just suck
Sometimes I slap myself
Sometimes I feel so dumb
Sometimes I lose it all
Sometimes I scream too loud
Sometimes I cut myself
Sometimes I hate myself

Veins popping out my eye
Blood pouring down my shirt
In my gothic mini skirt
I run away from the hurt
Today I just might die
With two sides of anger
One filled with envy
And the other with hate

Wasting my time in suspended animation
Symbiotic, sure, but don’t feel a sensation
Scared of the world, scared of this stimulation
About my decisions that have fallen to shit
And now let’s take one more damn hit

Sometimes I'm just too much
Sometimes people just suck
Sometimes I slap myself
Sometimes I feel so dumb
Sometimes I lose it all
Sometimes I scream too loud
Sometimes I cut myself
Sometimes I hate myself

Where did my best friend go?
She spat inside my throat
Pink, green and kinda rad
But she didn’t text back
Her letters still in tact
Low effort chicken scratch
Crushed when I was tender
And now she has a boyfriend

Hold me down
Lock me up
Stay with me through the night
Hold me down
Lock me up
You won’t end up alright
Hold me down
Lock me up
Stay with me through the night
Hold me down
Lock me up
Crush me ‘til I can’t breathe

credits

from palette, released June 17, 2022
music & words by Lenan
www.instagram.com/gothic.resonance/
www.tiktok.com/@gothic.resonance

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