Get all 12 avant en garde! releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of i'm having a pool party and you're all invited, 2022 SCRAPBOOK MIXTAPE 410,757,864,530 DEAD SEASONS, flying colours, Echo Gaia - Single, palette, art practice, We Say Hello, online, and 4 more.
1. |
hi
02:37
|
|||
|
hi! i'm vera
neither here nor there
fake food in a shop window
a serial experiment
a girl between two worlds
in and out of touch
came out to my friends
drank till i didn't care enough
drunk and scared and ill prepared i type these silly words instead
of caring enough to equip this quiver and fire off one of these prewritten letters
so fuck it im trans im scared to come out shout out to alcohol im sorry im loud
hardly on beat but it had to be said
fuck
ill compose myself so much better on track i swear!
once i catch my breath
once i let it build
once i relapse
into being someone else
so hey hi i'm tac
there's nothing wrong
don't care about myself
except when making songs
stuck within a lie
told myself i wouldn't tell
wish i could just go
and be all by myself
the jury is out
typing their messages now
i've read all their faces
i know in my heart that
this group is a mixture
of love and hatred
and i wish that i didn't
have to test the waters by just jumping in
callously
with bare feet
i hope my family catches me
i hope my friends will be there for me
i'm not hard to find
i spend most days collecting dust
i spend most days collecting trust
of strangers online
i notice that the colours in the room seem to fade
like watercolour stains
i'm just trying to find meaning
just trying to validate
vicariously
this life of mine
trying to forget
that there are two sides
and that online is not
is not listening aaaaaa!!
i'm not your words!!
i'm hardly my own
so please leave me alone
just leave me alone
just leave me alone
just leave me alone
|
||||
2. |
hope yr ok
01:09
|
|||
|
i hope yr ok (x∞)
|
||||
3. |
internet trash
03:48
|
|||
|
locked into our good old ways
we share the same brain cell
quick shout out christina applegate
it's never been this heartfelt
internet trash, it's all we are
in ways im glad we're far apart
offline it might just be awkward
online is where we share our hearts
internet trash, it's all we are
internet trash, it's all we are
u cause my life to be static but its fine i don't mind it
cause we're out here making shapes in the snow
friendship in secret its hard to believe to anyone of old
we've known each other forever, its been so fucking long
once drawn to each other, bad comics, remember
but i know i wouldn't be here without your support
not here with u but here for u
internet trash, it's all we are
in ways i'm glad we're far apart
offline it might just be awkward
online is where we share our art
internet trash, it's all we are
internet trash, it's all we are
i live my life like the paintings
with the night and day time reversed
woke up to the sound of a hearse taking off
garbage collection, could have expected
the sounds of bodies car parts and such
habits established, clocks in circuit
what am i worth when i hit those rocks
not here with u but here for u
not here with u but here for u
not here with u but here for u
not here with u but here for u
internet trash, it's all we are
in ways im glad we're far apart
offline it might just be awkward
online is where we share our hearts
internet trash, it's all we are
internet trash, it's all we are
|
||||
4. |
together (1)
04:01
|
|||
5. |
o
11:11
|
|||
|
i think i'm losing a friend
never thought that you'd feel like the end
all these messages sent
keep hitting unkempt dead ends
i can't comprehend
how u decide which way light bends
its just the things u do
the way u fight friends, your a godsend
can't remember all the things we said but,
i remember all the times u left me wondering about your health, and if you'd ever come back home
trying to run to you but,
i'm wrapped up in darkness and
stepping in glass
developing
negatives
to make something last
Chicago 99, a house has stood the test of time
suicide is painless no one told you about the homicides
"keep your head up valentine, there's so much more to this afterlife
besides all of the bitter bugs festering inside your mind"
it's not like i haven't been here before
lost friends to centrism and image boards
i just want to cut room for the moon to show
i just want to cut loose to live and grow old, but
like years painting sun beams
shadows tear concrete in shape
as for my heartbeat
it breaks and beats like a rave
water fills up my lungs
echoes of carillon
ripples through my spine
distorted view left behind
in spite of all the good times
wounds healing despite the lies
i can't seem to fight back i
thought we'd exist alongside
but i'm drowning in a past live
downing this formaldehyde
broken amber shards inside
keepsakes of a broken life
like years painting sun beams
shadows tear concrete in shape
as for my heartbeat
it breaks and beats like a rave
Chicago 99, a house has stood the test of time
suicide is painless no one told you about homicides
"keep your head up valentine, there's so much more to this afterlife
besides all of the bitter bugs festering inside your mind"
colourless skies cloudy mind, there's no time to realise
circuitous life, another time, history is just another rhyme
"please come back, back to life. i swear i didn't mean to try
please don't leave like edwards covered up in pantomime"
i guess its just too much
for a heart devoid of love
to lose someone they trust
to lose someone they trust
this house is built by us
from reality to dust
where are you?
|
||||
6. |
together (2)
03:02
|
|||
|
and as for my heartbeat
as for my heartbeat
as for my heartbeat
my heartbeat, my heartbeat
and as for my heartbeat
for my heartbeat
for my heartbeat
my heartbeat, my heartbeat
and as for my heartbeat
my heartbeat
my heartbeat
my heartbeat
my heartbeat
my heartbeat
my heartbeat
my heartbeat
|
||||
7. |
apart
03:27
|
|||
|
i can hardly speak
i can hardly write songs
but after today
i know i'll never be alone
i'll never be alone
i'll never be alone
i'll never be alone
i'll never be alone
chemicals in the air
one switches out for the other
shed light on my eyes
better off uncovered
i know but,
it feels impossible
as reality dies off
the memories blossom
(the memories echo)
october passed away
october passed away
i can hardly speak
i can hardly write songs
but after today
i know i'll never be alone
i'll never be alone
i'll never be alone
i'll never be alone
i'll never be alone
|
||||
8. |
leaf shutter
04:59
|
|||
|
maybe i'll wake up tomorrow,
pull the curtains, let the light in
watch it catch all the dust,
take deep breaths, like it's nothing
snowflakes of what has been,
gathering, covering
nothing is lost, everyone is gone
i think i should be happier, but i'm not
but after today
all we have are the memories
time will distort
we will get lost
dying flowers in light
drying flowers in darkness
to be left alone
time got me covered
dust in my lungs
time waits for nothing
waiting for the sun
i need overexposure
but after today
all we have are the memories
time will distort
we will get lost
but after today
will you remember me?
|
||||
9. |
july
06:37
|
|||
|
it took a long time, october to july
time passed on
photolysis strained
all the keepsakes i've kept
up in my brain
we're just Galápagos birds
our bridges burnt
our world of hurt
took another turn
we made it out
i mean i guess i did
still learning to reminisce
over all the bad things
is that what growing up is?
create fossil fuel
to burn through
and use to paint hues
fill the skies with fake clouds
destroy everything
wipe out all the love
and regrets that could have been
run out, cut through
become powerful enough to
fabricate your own rules
and not care about seeing faces
to construct anew
version of the truth
version of you
to picture hell:
begin at the end
its the only way to tell
everything
some days the echoes break me
some days they glue me back together
from a time of solitude
to dimly lit rooms in blue
to collecting dust
to poorly recorded music in bedrooms (..i don't know what you're talking about..)
to emotions making a difference
to hunter-gatherers running out
to shitty insecure terfs and
their shitty manipulative pleas in everyone's dms
to men abusing power in communities
to crumbling pillars of salt
to wounds healing despite all of it
to forced metaphors like post cards with seeds in them
to growth and cocoons and carcinisation
to the blooming of community
to kill your idols, please!
to lockdown and quarantine
to solutions and problems
to bellies full of chia seeds
all the way to digital intimacy
to detuned pianos in agony and yung lean references
to hearing footsteps and voices
to being unable to finish your shitty little albums
to making fruitless promises
to frigid bones and leopard skin
to sleepless nights staring into winter sky
to trying to feel alive
to collective loneliness
to deposit into crystalline structure
to minds in amber
to trap some thoughts forever
to never surrender
to violets
some days the echoes break me.
|
||||
avant en garde! Netherlands
somewhere between url and irl collecting dust
avant en garde! recommends:
beautiful and inventive concept album mixing digital dream pop with chiptune and vocaloid instrumentation
go to album
a modern crystalline take on ambient and progressive electronic music underscored with gentle piano
go to album
world's favorite rodent
by mousemallow
fairybeat feels like staring at the first ray of spring time sunshine after a long winter
go to albumIf you like online, you may also like:
supported by 24 fans who also own “online”
What an amazing compilation of tracks from a group of truly enthusiastic, talented, and openhearted people. Bravo
go to album
Castillo Interior Remixed
by Pumuky
Spanish group Pumuky's latest EP gets the remix treatment from friends like Xiu Xiu and Jimmy Tamborello from The Postal Service.
go to album
